I really wish Facebook had audio at this exact moment. If you could just hear the peaks and pitch of my little people right now…that would be enough of a confession for the rest of the year. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and as I am admittedly driven by guilt and a desire to please (I often say I am a failed Type A), it is not surprising that I woke up this morning with an immediate sense of failure, having not officially posted yesterday. Even someone as self-deprecating as myself has those days that are so monumental you just need a day or two to process your defeat before sharing your dirty laundry to virtual strangers. However, the guilt of not doing my post has now driven me to try to do the impossible…actually get something done while my kids are all awake. At first, it resulted in all three physically on top of me in a Cirque-de-Soliel style dog-pile (I apologize to any of you who they may have unintentionally messaged, as a result of the collision of a flying foot and an open keyboard.) But I persevered. Unfortunately, this deliberate lack of attention, angered the natives, resulting in a full on rebellion, like I have never seen before. Yes, my devotion to y’all was the catalyst in my girl’s first full on physical altercation. I know this might come as a surprise for those of you with testosterone driven boys, but my girls can do such phenomenal damage with their words, that they had not yet found the need to battle it out WWF style. So David and I were so caught off guard (or maybe just too tired), that we found ourselves just sitting there in shock for a bit. Fortunately, this gave us the opportunity to watch the comedy (or need for Social Services) which came next. Anyone who knows my Zo, knows she enjoys being the helpless innocent. Anyone who knows my Mia, knows she finds thrill in playing the villain. These truths were amplified in the dialogue: Background Information – Zoe is in the 90th percentile for height and weight for her 5 ½ years. Mia, although feisty enough to battle a grown man, is in the 40th percentile for height and weight for her mere 3 years. She is like that little Chihuahua who viciously barks at the bulldog, thinking she is far more powerful than she really is. Except her sister is far more a docile house breed than she is a guard dog. So as the fight began, here were some of Zoe’s best lines, “She is killing me mom. I’m almost dead. I’ve learned my lesson. Now will you save me? She’s repeatedly slamming me against the wall. Are you not going to save me? I feel like I am Daniel in the lion’s den! Don’t you even love me?” Where in the world would she get that ability to use linguistics to dramatize her victimization? Needless to say, they eventually worked it out with all flesh and consciousness intact. And I must say, this male-dominated version of conflict resolution is far more entertaining and far less irritating than the whining version we’ve experienced all these years. I might just need to spend more time ignoring my children in the future.