CONFESSIONS OF A FACEBOOK FAILURE: Year 2
Day 22: Let’s play would you rather…
Would you rather serve your sweetie candy…
off the concrete,
or sweets…
from a stranger.
Well, this overachiever opted for the double dare.
Here’s the whole confession:
The other day we adventured over to Knott’s Berry Farm for some good old fashioned family fun (with no original intention of potentially poisoning our little people).
Plans change.
As fate would have it, we happened upon friends and our mini-mob turned massive mob of lil’ monsters moshed their way over to the madness of a parent-free kid coaster, which they proceeded to conquer again and again…
and again,
while we had the privilege of pretending to be real life people who converse about real life things absent from a single reference to poop or potties or boogers or barf, and then….
KBF Coaster Captain and Rebel Wrangler: “Ma’am?”( …too immersed in the oasis of using brainpower on something other than redirecting the rebels or refereeing sibling warfare, to allow myself to hear the first time…) “Ma’am?”
Me: “Yes?” (…finally submitting to surrender…)
KBF Coaster Captain and Rebel Wrangler: “I’m sorry, but I think your kid just ate some cotton candy off the floor.”
Me: Silence, as I stare at the wildest of my monster’s moustached in sugar and a sinful smile.
Enter Stranger (very, very strange stranger): “It’s okay, ma’am. I gave it to her.”
Me: Silence, as I contemplate how this icky, icky individual might have come to the conclusion that I might be comforted by this confession, and whether I should first focus on stomach pumping (for the kid) or stomach punching (for the creepy Candy Man).
Stranger: “Don’t worry. She just dropped the piece I shared with her on the ground and then ate it again.”
Me: Silence, as I am reminded of the audience I once called my oasis standing alongside me for the show. So, I opt to stomach the scene and set aside my plans for pumps and punches, thanked the Rebel Wrangler for her observations, and pray that a dose of Capri Sun will be enough to cure the crisis.
She survived.
Not sure about my ego.