CONFESSIONS OF A FACEBOOK FAILURE: Year 3 Day 10

The littlest beasts coerced me into beaching my watermelon onto the concrete for an absolutely crucial chalk art creation. Admittedly, the lying down part wasn’t half bad. Unfortunately, there was the getting up part that posed a bit of a problem. Especially as the little beasts abandoned me for another crucial piece of work…in the house…leaving me alone…beached…belly up…on the cement…with night quickly approaching…and concerned onlookers whispering frantically about the lonely pregnant lady sleeping on the sidewalk.

I apologize to all of my (once) friendly neighbors and (once) innocent commuters on Willow and Lakewood, at dusk yesterday. After attempting the seesaw rock and roll and the world’s saddest attempt at a sit-up, I determined that the only way out of the scene was the sideways scoot, which may have resulted in an unfortunate flashing of things that are not in the spirit of the holidays, to a crowded main street of victims and perhaps a huddled mass of terrified small children (although none of them my own, as they had long since abandoned me).

The good news is this incredible chalk masterpiece was worth all of the pain of my performance art piece. Just check out my accessorized Frankenstein head and massive leg growths! Owww!

I bet you missed that performance piece now!

If you can relate, please LIKE, or SHARE, or FOLLOW, or read some more.

Help me avoid the morning-after-writer’s-remorse that wells from the paranoia of my signature self-shaming, by giving me your virtual nod and smile, and I will promise to divulge deeper despairs in days to come.